


Does the golden son feel warm?

by Keenir



Series: My Sif and Thor multiverse [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst?, Gen, Pre-Movie(s), Thor 2, Thor Feels, trying to balance Thor's heartstrings here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 10:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unrequited, Thor has some thoughts about Sif.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does the golden son feel warm?

**Author's Note:**

> The first part is pre-Thor. The second part is during the first few scenes of Thor: The Dark World.

I am Thor, Asgard's eldest prince and lead canidate to succeed the Allfather as lord of Asgard. It is I who is expected to stand at the head of Asgard's armies, to proverbially bring war to Valland.

But I am but a candle beside the heat wrought by the energy and enthusiasm which Sif brings to all engagements, armed and unarmed.

Though she frequents no hearth but the fires of burning buildings, Sif radiates a warmth more desirable than any flame could aspire to accomplish. Her smile shines. Her fingers knit bone as skillfully as my mother's knit thread, as skillfully as Loki weaves words.

And all the care and tenderness of Sif's eyes, they are for Loki alone.

If my brother knows of my unmet affections for Sif, it is the one taunt and fact which he has not turned against me. A blessing larger than even he knows, for I do not wish Sif to look upon me with pity - pity or something worse, her wonderful eyes looking upon me with regret that I feel for her a thing which she never will feel for me.

Loki calls me at times, in those mocking moods he may frequent, The Golden Son.

Does the golden son feel warm? No.

Would I forfeit my claim to the throne? Never have I been permitted to think such a thing. And a useless exchange it would be, as I have no doubt it would only earn Sif's anger as she berates me for shucking aside my foremost responsibility. (but if Sif came to me and said my impending kingship was the only obstacle between us, most definately and inferno-fast would I let the crown pass over me; I have had dreams of this, and in the morning I wake to cold sheets and an empty bed)

Loki envies me for how all of Asgard regales me. I envy Loki for how one person looks upon him.

* * *

We jest on the battlefields, she and I. Jokes regarding skill and accidents. "Is that why everything's on fire?" It is as close to inconsequential naughtnesses - _nothings_ , Jane mentioned - as I shall ever reach with her, and I have long since made my peace with it. I love Jane Foster, and now that the Bifrost has regrown itself into something useable, I shall see her soon.

I love Jane and I love Sif, and though I have chosen whom to live my life with, that does not erase the other's presence. Were I to heed my father's advice, to obey the Allfather, and marry a non-mortal (marry someone other than Jane), my heart would permit me none but Sif.

And that would crush my heart. For Sif would obey, and if she agreed to wed me, it would be out of duty to her realm. 'I swear to serve Asgard' she said once, long ago, when many of us swore oaths to our king, to our queen; I was there, as was Loki - but Loki has her heart, which would make it more than duty. I do not have Sif's heart, she has mine.

"There are Nine Realms. The future king of Asgard must focus upon more than one," Sif says to me. And I shall...when Jane is by my side. Or I shall, long after her eventual death from old age - my grandfather Bor ruled the Nine Realms and defeated the Dark Elves, all while living in the pall of grief, forever gripped by a longing for the one he would never again know the warmth of...thus I know it is possible.

My successors will be born from the union of Loki and Sif, if they are not born of the union of myself and Jane. I am at peace regarding that.

I do not have Sif's heart, she has mine. And if she knows it, she is kind enough to not say so. Perhaps she believes that Jane alone holds my heart; though nearly true, there is enough _not so_ for there to be an ache. Two women hold my heart, one does not negate the other.


End file.
